


A Tangled Mess

by Hjaltalin



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angsty Stiles, Derek Hale mention, F/M, M/M, Malia tate Mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 07:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1849504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hjaltalin/pseuds/Hjaltalin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The defeat of the Nogitsune comes with consequences. Consequences which Stiles has ignored choosing to go through the motions, he has started a to him easy relationship with Malia, but the news of Derek's disappearance shakes him enough for new realisations to be discovered. </p>
<p>Or the story of what was going on for two months before the heroes discovered Derek was missing from Stiles POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tangled Mess

**Author's Note:**

> Anytime Teen Wolf does a time skip, there are never any explanations for what the hell has been going on and we're always expected to just make up our own minds, well this short story is about what could have been going on, at least in Stiles head. It should be noted I haven't written a fanfic in going on 5 years, so I'm a bit rusty but hopefully it doesn't show too badly.

**A Tangled Mess**

 

Stiles is utterly without words to explain how his current situation came about, he tried to pin-point when it began and he has to conclude that it started when he was unreasonably convinced that the best place for him to be was at Eichen house.

The whole period around that time is like a living breathing and writhing nightmare which clutches at his heart and rips at his sanity, he cannot tell anymore if it was his own thought or the nogitsunes will which drove him to decide that Eichen house was where he should be, what followed makes him ache to believe it was all a product of the nogitsune.

In that sinister place he met a girl who he had seen before, this girl was a were-coyote he and Scott had rescued should be the right term, however the girl at Eichen house did not believe they rescued her, she believed they had dragged her into hell. Stiles doesn’t know what to believe, he can understand that one person’s freedom can be another’s torture chamber, but at the time he was sure he was right, it was a rescue, however for a while now he has been unsure, wildly swinging between feeling as though the girl had been rescued on one had but on the other that she was better off in the wild.

In the dank and dark basement of that house he and the girl, Malia, did something he is still to this day deeply ashamed of, an act committed while they were both too vulnerable and unstable to really consent; he lost his virginity to a girl he’d only known a day, in the worst circumstances, and he still reels inside because for him there was nothing there except crushing fear and the desperate need to feel alive if only for a short time before he might die.

Miraculously he survives and has to live with the guilt of what he did, he covers up that guilt, he compartmentalises it with the guilt of the acts he committed as a puppet of the nogitsune, but it’s never far from him.

The weeks that follow compound the tangled web that’s been weaved, with Allison’s death and the shame and guilt of being responsible for that he continued an ill-defined entanglement with Malia, he and Scott mentor and try to guide her in a human world filled with human instincts that they hope lie hidden in her, this relationship is further confused by their sexual relationship. They continue to make out, Stiles because it makes his thoughts stand still and he likes Malia and wants to help her.

Stiles jumps from his chair half in anger and frustration at himself and another half with deep despair, he paces as his thoughts tumble one over the other.

Stiles doesn’t know when it happened but as the weeks have past and the grief and pain have fade more and more his awareness has turned more clear, Malia and he have a relationship, one that he is coming to realise might be severely unhealthy, he takes responsibility for her when she acts out in inhuman ways, contains her when her anger and frustrations at a world she can’t fully understand become too much, and he seeks comfort and oblivion in kissing her, not because he feels strongly and deeply for her, but because she is there and she wants it too.

He throws himself down on the bed, pain is winning, he knows when the moment of full clarity came back to him, the moment his heart clenched and it felt as though his torso was skewered by an icicle, the moment Scott mentioned Derek, that he hadn’t been answering texts, not that he ever really does, except he sometimes often did when Stiles texted him. Scott suspects something bad has happened, says there was a smell, Derek tried to teach him about chemo-signals, scents that betray emotion. Scott couldn’t make out what it was, but it was bad. Then came the moment his heart seized, Scott pulled out the bullet casing, with the logo of a hunter family. Ice flashed in his veins when Lydia said she couldn’t tell if he was alive or dead.

His breath had stuttered, and his mind screamed; no. A thousand other thoughts chased around his skull; no stop why does it hurt so bad? I don’t care about Derek, he is an annoying downer completely incapable of communicating! A snarky asshole! A pain in the ass who has saved my life a couple of times maybe, but I’ve saved him too we’re even now! An insensitive idiot, who is way too sassy and cares too much and needs to buy a sense of humour and needs to smile once in a while… Oh no no no, Stiles come on you don’t have a crush on him, sure the guy is built in such a way that I wanna climb him like a tree and his stubble, the gorgeous stubble which anyone would think about when jerking off…

But no Stiles isn’t emotionally invested in him, except he is, he feels it to the core, he cares about Derek, the guy was seriously repressed but damn his heart was a fine thing and Stiles wants to lift the guys burdens, wants to be Derek’s mooring in a storm and wants the same in return, wants those big arms to hold him steady when it feels as if the world is going to shake apart and he feels like he is drowning.

Standing there in Deaton’s operating room, and really when the hell is he ever at work? No he digresses, his breath caught in his throat it feels like a grey veil has lifted from the world and he sees clearly again, Stiles Stilinski is in love with a stupid idiot werewolf who can’t keep himself safe if he was paid to.

Then like a sledge hammer a realisation, Malia, the were-coyote girl he’s involved with. Things he never noticed before bubble up in his conscious, events that he had been oblivious to spring up in his mind like jack-in-the-boxes, key words and sentiments Malia has been expressing when it comes to him, a clawing despair grips him, she believes she’s in love with him.

Now he’s at home, they have a plan to get Derek back, it’s an insane plan, it can only go wrong, but Stiles couldn’t seem to get his mind to work in helping to formulate it better so now they’re stuck with what is mostly Scott’s plan. Stiles knows it won’t end well, but he can’t focus on that! He’s in love with the original sourwolf, the pain in the ass who keeps coming back to a town that seems determined to kill him, and for what? For a pack that’s not his anymore, for two boys who’ve done nothing but work against him, heat blooms in Stiles chest at the thought, Derek keeps coming back because he cares, he cares too much, enough to subject himself to pain to help.

His thoughts turn sour, he isn’t in love with Malia, he likes her sure, they had some mutual fun which he now feels horrible about, Malia is so much more invested, scarily invested in him, and he doesn’t know what to do. His thoughts turn from one thing to the other, he knows he needs to stop things, the relationship has become complicated, tangled and almost entirely one-sided. Stiles can’t figure out how to tackle this, and now? When Derek is missing and they are leaving to go get him? He can’t focus, he knows he has to tell Malia, but things are so much more complicated than that.

Stiles isn’t just a guy she’s with he can see that, he can feel it, he’s something she has latched on to, he’s her anchor, but more than that he is her cage and the calming hand that, for now, keeps her with them in the human world.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not certain about the ending. I had more that could have gone into it, but I also felt like that would take away from Stiles' realisation concerning his predicament, you're welcome to comment on that.  
> Thank you all for reading


End file.
